Online dating sites have become less and less uncommon through the years. But which one do you go with? There are so many that appeal to so many different groups of people from goth dating sites to Christian online match-making. Which one is right for you?
For starters, don’t subscribe to the first site you see. Be choosy! You’re talking about someone who might be your life mate, don’t you want that to be the best? Don’t be afraid to turn down websites that are all hype and filth.
There are some that are nothing more than hookup sites, nothing but men and women looking for quick sexual encounters with no relationship surrounding it. These are the ones you want to avoid; read closely. Do the profiles talk in depth about what people are looking for in relationships and who they are as people, or are there just pictures and short, one sentence answers to questions that beg deeper replies? Those are good signs that this is a hookup site. These are the ones you’d prefer to avoid – you will not likely find long term love with people looking for short term sex.
Remember, sex and lovemaking ARE two very different things, don’t be pressured by ANYONE into thinking “if you love me or want me to love you, you’ll do it.” NO!
A True Story
One of my daughters met her significant other through an art website that had nothing to do with dating. He was her favorite artist on the site and she contacted him and the rest is history. They were of like mind, each looking for someone special but very discerning about what that was. They took plenty of time to get to know one another before they met in person and it couldn’t have been more perfect.
However, my daughter and her beloved one weren’t foolish about it; they decided to meet in a public setting during daylight hours. They didn’t mean to stay out ’til nearly midnight, but that’s what happens when you’re busy falling in love – you lose track of the time. Try to keep an eye on how much time you spend on your first date.
Don’t go overboard. Have a reasonable time frame of when you’ll meet and how long you’ll spend together.
True Love Might Not Be Oceans Away
Other sites I’d recommend are ones that are area specific. For a good example, check www.texasdatingplanet.com – it’s a dating community for Texans only, that means you won’t have to drive across states or fly overseas to meet your loved one. My daughter and her honey were just fortunate to live in neighboring states, but it can be a challenge if you’re on one coast and your sweetheart on the other; or worse, living in different countries.
Believe me – I’ve been in a long distance relationship that started with an online chat and it was tough on both partners. We lived in two different countries and the costs of maintaining our relationship were prohibitive. We split up for other reasons, too, but distance was one of the involved factors.
Consider locally based singles sites so that you don’t find yourself in an unrealistic relationship where you cannot have the healthy aspect of being able to be with one another in a physical sense and capacity; that doesn’t mean just sex. There’s something very important about being able to touch your partner, kiss her, hold his hand… you can’t replicate that in a coast-to-coast relationship. Keep your expectations realistic if you find yourself unconcerned about distance.
Heartbreak is sure to haunt you if you don’t accept the very real possibility that a purely online relationship won’t work out. I don’t think being physical is the only thing that matters in your love life, but it IS very important. It’s something you need to come to terms with and decide what you’re willing to give up for your beloved who may be thousands of miles away. Just be realistic; that’s the best protection measure you can take for yourself — and your heart.
And realize that relationships, be they long distance or next door, will take work. But remember, love is not a result of effort like exercise is. Yes, you have to do the heavy lifting, invest time in your partner, be kind, caring and compassionate, but remember, just because you do that does not mean it will warrant the expectations you have for the relationship. Love is not like lifting weights; you can work all you want and get nothing out of it, but the other side of that is that a healthy, happy relationship can’t exist without all that hard work — which, when you are with The One, doesn’t even feel like work at all.
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